To Alaska

Well off to Alaska I went, unsure how long I would be there. We were waiting on the medical system so I knew it could certainly be more than a few days.  Mom needed scans, stents operations, cauterizations, and likely chemotherapy.  It was a waiting game.  Would they need to stay in SLC for chemo and would that mean April would need to withdraw from school and attend in SLC?  Should they find an apartment in SLC?  Would Alaska's chemo be administered with the same chemical and same expertise as the Huntsman's?  I hated not knowing.  Waiting is not my favorite.  Especially with matters such as these.  These were some of the memes going around our family text chain:

I landed in Anchorage at about 3:30am and checked into the closest hotel to the airport so I could sleep. 

Levi flew out just before I landed and left mom's Prius in the parking garage for me with "vivid" instructions.

In the late morning I grabbed breakfast at the Anchorage IHOP restaurant then drive to Seward when April's Cross Country team had traveled to for her race that weekend.  I had booked a hotel room there while at the airport.  As I went to check in I realized I had left my debit card, the only card I use, at the IHOP several hours away.  Thankfully, I remembered that my close friends who do CrossFit here had given me a thoughtful card before I left with cash they had collected amongst themselves to help out in some way while with April in Alaska.  They seriously spoiled me.  It was more than enough for the hotel and I was saved!  I ate dinner with April's team- they just happened to be eating at a pizza joint right across the street from my hotel!  April was given permission to come to my hotel for a bit so that we could skype with Mom and Dad. 


Doll Sheep on the drive to Seward.

 April's race

Saw this on my drive back (Mom's name).

Our amazing friends, the Cox's/Pettijohns took us in several times and made sure we were OK.  So did a slew of other wonderful friends in Alaska.  I rarely had to cook for April and I up there.  This a photo of game night at the Cox's. 

Elders that knew my nephew in law who had recently served in my parents' ward.

April's choir concert.  She's so talented doing band and choir.  She is a percussionist and played the bongo while singing.  This was a rough night for a lot of people.  Mom was the new president of the booster club and this dinner concert fundraiser was something she had planned and worked very hard for.  By this point it had been confirmed that Mom had stage 2 Pancreatic Cancer.  In regular Western Medicine fashion, she was lied to because it's "too hard" to tell people the truth when they have stage 4 cancer.  April and I sang a duet together while I played on piano, "Say Something".  It was a tear jerker for those in the room who knew Mom as it related.

April taking a break from setting up the dinner tables.

April's choir

 April and I's song.

Back at home Todd was a trooper.  I love him so much for all his positive attitude taking on Mr. Mom for what ended up being over 3 weeks.  These are busy kids and he's busy besides what they have going on.  Family and friends kept him fed as well.  My sister in laws took turns having the kids ride the bus to their homes after school to make sure they did homework, practiced piano, read books, etc.  The kids enjoyed all the cousin time.  Todd kept the house clean and gave the kids fun things to do too.  They went skiing, went to a movie, went mudding in the jeep.

I missed my children SO much.  And my sweet husband.  It was so hard to be gone so long.  I knew I was needed where I was but I still felt guilty being gone that long.

While I was in Alaska, there was an Earthquake off the coast of Alaska.  It was around a 7.4 at the epicenter.  Not quite so bad where I was.  However, being a night owl, I was awake at around 1:00am when it happened.  I thought someone was breaking into the house because of the banging noises!  The rocking of the house and creaking of furniture sounded like slamming doors and pounding to me.  The dogs, even the shy one, quickly hid with me under the kitchen table.  It was shortlived while everything swayed.  Nothing in the house was vulnerably placed to be damaged by an earthquake so there wasn't anything broken.  I rushed downstairs to check on April and she was fast asleep!  Jessica, the friend next door texted asking me if I had felt it.  We chatted back and forth about possible aftershocks and how crazy it all was!  Because of the earthquake, Dad asked me to check on the cabin still under construction.  This is something I had delayed subconsciously, I think.

The cabin is Mom's dream.  While Dad was working as a contracted air traffic controller in Afghanistan, Mom found this property for sale in Sutton, Alaska.  It sat atop a cliff overlooking Granite Creek with views of Granite Peak and all the beautiful landscape in between.  She picked out the cabin design and had plans for all the amenities.  It was her baby.  And she may never see it finished or even sleep inside it.

I drove the 45 minute drive to Sutton, heavy hearted.

 The long dirt drive was too snowed over and icy to drive.  So I parked the Prius at the start of the dirt road and walked the rest of the way.  My heart hurt more and more with every step and when this came into view, I lost it and fell to my knees.  So much love and teamwork, sweat and dreams put into this place. So much of her in it.  To my emotions, I think it represented my family.  The picture perfect harmony and peace I always felt about my family.

Todd sent this picture of Lainey's Martin Luther King day paper.  *LOVE*

April's Birthday came and Mom and Dad were still gone.  Still not sure when they would return or what the plan was.  I felt sad for April that Mom wouldn't be there because she was also not there last year.  Mom was on a trip last year during April's birthday.  I wanted to make it special still for her.  I taped garbage bags to her door at night and filled the center with balloons. 

I made cupcakes for her choir class and brought them in to her.

For her big day I took her shopping.  I showed her one of my favorite shops- Plato's Closet.  And then to Sephora to get her makeup.

And a boy brought her a present...

Same boy also took her on her first date that weekend...

I was able to purchase a guest pass for the Alaska Club, the local gym that allowed me to workout while there.  While April was in school, I would clean the house, go to the gym, workout and use the sauna there, get ready for the day there, get some groceries while in town, etc.  I didn't like being home alone long.  With April's ski practice after school, days were long at home!

Some moose outside the gym.

 Back at Devan's house in Salt Lake City, Capri kept Mom and Dad entertained.  Maura did a great job caring for and feeding them.  She had to experiment a lot with what food Mom could handle.  She suffered a lot of pain while there because the hospital never did very much to manage it.  Hospice nurses are the leading experts on managing pain.  So we come from a very critical background owning a hospice.  But still, they didn't even tell them about palliative care- we had to tell them to ask about it.

 I suggested this TV series to Mom since she was down all day and she immediately fell in love with it.  I had to pause this scene to take a picture because he looked just like those angry cat memes.

April's first date was also a way to get her to her surprise birthday party.  Well, away to get her out of the house and back later so her friends could decorate for it since it was at home.  I picked up the cake and the friends did the rest.

Back home Lainey was sick and missing her mommy too much.  It was more than I could stand.  So Rachele, who had been wanting to come and help anyway, flew up to take a turn.  We three sisters were all together a day and a half before I flew out.  We went for a girls night, to dinner at Evangelos, and to a chick flick at the theater.  Rachele and I also got a lot done cleaning what was left in Mom and Dad's room and guest room to make them look nice.  Before she had come, I shampooed Mom's car, and had a cleaning company come in and white glove clean the house so that it was free of any germs that could harm Mom in her state.

At the airport with my sisters!  Love them!